SIB will be posting musings, advice, and her thoughts here on a weekly basis. Be warned, this IS a sex column and although there won’t be any steamy visuals (it’s not porn, ya know?) the text WILL be NSFW.

With all the tension of the Occupy [Insert City Here] movements and our financial and political woes, it is nice to get a little fun sexy talk going on in our town again. Once again, I am here to answer your questions – and this time you answered one for me as well.

I have been seeing this guy on and off for about 6 months now.  We really have a lot of fun when we are together and I really think I have fallen in love with him. But it seems that when we do get together, it is usually only once a week or less and we just hang out at my place or his, watch movies, and fool around. I am afraid that he doesn’t look at this relationship as seriously as I do. How can you tell if a guy is really into you, or if he is just in it for the sex? – K.H., female, 28

Whenever I hear any of my girlfriends describe a situation like this, I think only one thing: RUN! If you are looking for a relationship out of this guy, you are probably in for a world of hurt. If you have been together as long as you say, you should be further along than you are. He isn’t showing an interest to take you out, which is a trouble sign. I have always known that if a guy really wants to be with you, he will move heaven and earth to do so. Once in a while, a “Sorry I’m too tired to go out” or a “Hey, I have to work late, so can I cancel?” is a plausible excuse – we all run into snags like that in our lives. But if he isn’t making more of an effort to spend time with you, the cliché stands – “He’s just not that into you.” However, I may be completely wrong and maybe he is just taking things really slowly. Truthfully, the only way to really know is to ask him. I may be good at a lot of things, but reading the minds of men I don’t know is not one of them.

Most importantly – are you really happy with how things are going? If you are, then more power to you and keep on keeping on! But it sounds to me that you are looking for something more than what he is providing you. If after you talk with him and let him know what you desire, he is not able to provide it to you, then I think it is time to move on. Everyone deserves to be happy and you are no different. Good luck with everything.

Since the movie came out, I think this question has come back into play for a lot of people. So – What’s your number?J.K., male, 32

Well, I believe in quality over quantity.  I have had a good number of “lovahs” over the years, but not too many. My happiest thing is that I can truly say that I have never had bad sex. And is there ever a “good” answer to that question? I could get into my entire philosophy on why it shouldn’t even matter, but I will save that for next week.

I asked the question, “What is one thing that really turns you on?” and I got some great responses that I wanted to share with you here. Some asked to stay anonymous, and as always, I respect their wishes.

“When she looks at me like I am the only man in the world.”: @JustinCase1957

“I love the way he looks at me while I am sucking him off. He looks so content and pleased it makes me just want to do it more.”: Sara

“Watching two women wrestling.”:  mastersmk

“I love when a woman wakes me up for morning sex. It is such a sensual time.”: P.T.

“My ex-girlfriend used to literally scream my name just as she was climaxing. It was amazingly hot!”: K

So, what is it that turns YOU on? I would love to hear them in the comments or feel free to email me.

I’ll be back next week – I love answering questions and hearing your suggestions feel free to follow me on my blog, Tumblr, and Twitter.


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