According to the Mayan calender, life as we know it is set to end next Friday with predictions of alien invasion, mass suicide, a natural disaster and devastating consequences due to a planetary alignment all possible causes of the beginning of the end.

So, what do we do about it?

Crumble? Curl up in the nearest corner and cry?

Find the nearest church, confess our sins and plead for redemption?!

God, no! We party like it’s the end of the world, because it very well might be . .

Kimberley Manderson, Gutter UK Contributor, Infamous Drunk-Dialler

If the crazy Mayan calendar is right and the world is going to end on December 21st, we’d better all get a move on and run through our bucket lists asap.

If the 21st really is the last day on earth, I seriously better reconsider my plans for the day. For the moment, I’m booked on the midnight Megabus from London to Glasgow. Some may already consider that to be hell, but I’m a sucker for cheap travel. Half of the 8 hour journey will be spent trying to get some shut-eye in an extremely contorted position, while the other half will be spent reminiscing the awesomeness of Paul Weller and Miles Kane from the evening before.

Upon arriving home, the plan for the rest of the day had been to sleep, or put in a shift at work, depending on the rota. But, if it’s THE LAST EVER DAY EVER, EVER then you can bet your bottom dollar you won’t find me on a shop floor. I’d gather up all my friends from their homes/workplaces and go a roadtrip, with some great tunes, great booze (not for the driver obviously) and just share some last great times together in the eerie countryside of rural Scotland.

Though not rural enough that I wouldn’t get a phone signal, as I’d be dishing out teary phonecalls to family and other friends from far flung parts of the world. I’d probably leave inappropriate voicemails due to the boozy nature of the day, but I know I could feel confident that they would never get heard.

Best last day, ever.

Tess Rose Askew, Gutter UK Contributor,  Family Girl

I’d like to spend my last day on earth surrounded by my friends and family. I’d want everyone I love in one place so we can all be together. We’d eat and drink and generally just have a good time. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do if the world was going to end!

Dean Walsh, Gutter UK Contributor, Takes No Shit From The Bank

My last day on earth would be a combination of movies; “The Hangover”, “Brusters Millions” and “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.

I’d begin my journey with a quick trip to the bank to withdraw all of my life savings. After realizing my life savings is only ten pounds, I would walk into the bank and ask for a loan. After being denied a loan due to my poor credit history I would take out my gun and rob the bank.

After a quick chat with the hostage negotiator I would find myself on a plane to Las Vegas where I would spend all my money on booze and gambling. 

I would also high five a tiger.

To finish off the day I would buy a lamborgini and drive it full speed down Las Vegas Boulevard before smashing into a wall, coming to a grisly end.

Karlyn King Gutter UK Contributor, Vodka Mistress

21/12/12 is seen by some as the end of a 5125 year long cycle in the Mayan Calender. Aliens coming to take over, collisions with comets from the sun, natural disaster and mass suicide are just some of the predicted outcomes of this said armageddon.

Hollywood has done us no favours in romanticising how the earth will demise next Friday.

However if it is correct, I would stage a massive free for all festival with every good Scottish band I’ve ever liked. Drink copious amounts of Grey Goose. Eat copious amounts of Haribo. Wait for the end amidst my favourite musical stylings; Garbage, Idlewild, Belle & Sebastian and Edwyn Collins. Drunk.

Siobhanne Beattie, Gutter UK Editor, Lambrini Lover & Lightweight

Simple. I’d gather the people I love most; time is of the essence so there in no need in spending the end with people you don’t want to or don’t like out of courtesy or politeness.

We’d eat the finest food, drink excessively and watch a pre-prepared montage of YouTube clips of the band’s that made life worth living.

Carl Barat and Pete Doherty jostling for position, singing “Can’t Stand Me Now”, Michael Hutchence seducing us with “Need You Tonight”, Bono taking us from Dublin’s Slane Castle to “Where The Street Have No Name”, Noel Gallagher urging us “Don’t Look Back In Anger” and Brandon Flowers presenting us with one of life’s great unanswered questions . . . “Are We Human? Or, Are We Dancer?”

In typical fashion, I’d lose the battle and alcohol would prevail; passing out on the couch in a lambrini-fuelled haze, I’d be vaguely aware of the impending vomit I’d later endure and blisfully ignorant of the beginning of the end . . .

J Giordano, Gutter Editor In Chief, Man With A Plan

In preparation for the end,  I would use the last of the money in my account to buy a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and two lobster tails.

At home, I would prepare a basket with lobster tails in cognac sauce (which I have anyway). While others were panicking, I would drive to NYC and leave the car wherever. One would assume that buildings would be empty by now as the end is inevitable. I would hit the elevators in the Empire State building. At the top floor (roof level) I would open the JW and break out the lobsters for a slight repast.

When one’s world ends, it’s best to get an exceptional view so I would watch the world crumble from almost a mile up. As the end was just near, I would finish off the Johnny, place the bottle in a safe place as littering at that height could kill someone below and jump.

Because in the end, it’s still imperative to maintain free will.

 

 

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