Haven’t you heard enough about Leonardo Di Caprio’s reported woes over never having won an Academy Award? I know I have. Give the guy a break! How to lay on the pressure via the internet 101. He doesn’t seem like the type to dwell . . .

I want to shed light on  other Hollywood favourites robbed of their golden naked statue, a few I truly believe are currently crying into their Tony’s and BAFTAs.

 5. Robert Downey Jr.

Although he plays the part well, too well, in fact, to the point that it’s wondered whether he uses any stolen merchandise to save America, RDJ’s life hasn’t always been about “Iron Man”. (In fact there were whispers that he’s going to give up the gig. Gasp!) Before Tony Stark became so popular, Rob was a child star appearing in his first film age 5 (Robert Downey Sr.’s Pound) tearing up in an NY memoir of Dito Montiel (“A Guide To Recognising Your Saints”) and yes, practising the art of being a manipulative junkie (“A Scanner Darkly”, various others.) Since then he’s helped homeless cellists get into orchestras, (“The Soloist”) discovered a conspiracy in Hollywood in the funniest way possible (“Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”) and accomplished being an American faking a decent English accent (“Sherlock Holmes”) – unheard of! Robert Downey Jr. is no one trick pony.

 4. Mia Wasikowska

The only conclusion I can draw from seeing no Academy Awards on her profile is that it would be too difficult for an announcer to attempt her name. It looks like “Mike Wazowski” but it’s not. She ends up being called Mia W-the-girl-from-Alice-In-Wonderland. My opinion is if you’re willing to (fake) masturbate in the shower for the camera (“Stoker”) you should have something to show for it. Of course, by next year this could change since her next movie is the “true story” of a woman walking across Australia. Doesn’t seem like enough to fill a film but we know how Oscar loves a true story. Maybe that’s what Leonardo was going for with “The Wolf Of Wall Street” . . .?

 3. Edward Norton

Norton boasts an interesting portfolio for an Oscar-less actor;  he has portrayed a wide-eyed psycho getting off with murder (“Primal Fear”) a white supremacist (“American History X”), the mouse to Hannibal Lecter’s cat (“Red Dragon”) and, of course, the original founder of that club you’re not allowed to talk about (!!!). It’s something special to be the guy that every girl should get but never wants and still strike fear into the soul of every man. And where is he now? After turning down his chance to say “You won’t like me when I’m angry” more than once without sounding stupid, he’s yet to be seen in mainstream Hollywood. He’s probably boosting independent movies with cameos. This is a guy I think has missed his chance.

 2. Glenn Close

What? Thanks to this woman we know now why there’s no squeaky clean image of aristocrats any more (“Dangerous Liaisons”), why Dalmatians were almost an endangered species (“101 Dalmatians”), and the true price of a one night stand (“Fatal Attraction”). Basically, Glenn’s the ultimate “psycho bitch”. But no two bitches are the same; one is cool and calm, one is chaotic, one is on the brink. It’s no wonder she’s considered by many to be “one of the greatest actresses of all time”. So where’s her trophy, dammit?!

 1. Samuel L. Jackson

This man makes any film he appears in memorable. Have you noticed there’s a giant middle chunk of “Pulp Fiction” no one remembers? Is it the homosexual rape scene that makes people never want to mention it, or is it simply forgotten because Samuel L. Jackson isn’t a part of it? He’s the only black Jedi ever, (“Star Wars”) the only reason anyone knows the terror of “Snakes On A Plane”, the only guy who can make a bible extract sound cool (“Pulp Fiction”) and he even has a comic book character remodelled around him (Nick Fury, “The Avengers”). What other Oscar winner can say that? Give this guy the lifetime achievement award!

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