So, you’re alone this year. You’ve stocked the freezer full of ice cream and rented Titanic, wondering whether or not grabbing a last minute date with the stalker on the subway would have been better or worse than a night alone with a soppy movie . . .

You don’t want to be Kate Winslet in Titanic, or Keira Knightly in Love Actually, or even Rachel McAdams in The Notebook locking lips with a rugged Ryan Gosling. Really, you don’t! No, really, trust me! What do they know about finding love? What did they have to overcome? Disapproving parents? Marrying the wrong man? A sinking ship?!

Meet the unsung heroes of the power of love. Couples who found their soulmate in the face of obstacles that most of us won’t have to deal with in a lifetime. Catching fire. The inability to experience touch. Prostitution?! Yep, it’s all here . . .

So, before you let loose this Valentine’s with a bowl of cookie dough, that third bottle of wine and a night of ill-advised drunk dialling, reacquaint yourself with these couples; I guarantee that they will reaffirm your faith in the whole idea of love, better than Bridget Jones and her candid diary ever couldIf these pairings can find love, there is unquestionable hope for the rest of us. No matter how pathetic, insecure or fire-proof you might be . . .

Hellboy & Liz (Hellboy)

So, you have a tail (more than the original most men are born with), horns, you’re red and are the literal spawn of Satan . . . no-one will love you, right? You’re a shut in, you save the world every day, but can’t ever been seen. It’s a lonely existence; you’re only hope of a love is with an “outcast” like yourself. An “outcast” who catches fire with mood swings; that’s enough to drive any man away, unless they were fireproof, of course! Hellboy and Liz reaffirmed my faith in soul mates . . .What’s not to love, Liz? He’s funny, genuine, buff (!) and, most importantly, “I’m fireproof . . .”

Rogue & Gambit (X Men)

Guys, imagine having a girlfriend you could never touch. Literally. Or, to go into more detail, you could touch her, but with that touch she would involuntarily suck the life out of you. (Not the way you’d like.) This is the dilemma facing Marvel’s best loved couple; poor Rogue will never know the feeling of skin-on-skin due to her soul-crushing power of draining a person of their life. So she could lose her virginity, technically, but just once with each guy. Being not the one-night-stand kinda girl, this doesn’t fly too far with Rogue when she falls for plasma-playing,card-shooting, Gambit. Do you blame her?! Apparently, Wolverine had a thing for her too, but she chose Gambit. And, I agree. Yellow and blue latex does negate the whole buff-as-hell thing. Give me a brown jacket and gorgeous hair any day. (Channing Tatum! October 2016! EEEEP!!! *screams and runs round the room*) Mind you, Misfits Alisha and Curtis found a pretty good solution to the touch problem . . . Just saying!

Sayuri & The Chairman (Memoirs Of A Geisha)

Memoirs Of A Geisha is the story of a young girl who meets a man 20-30 years her senior, immediately falls in love, and makes a wish in a well for him to belong to her someday.The rest of us can relate to this, largely thanks to our first boy band gig experience, but would simply buy a poster, love the poster consistently, before eventually moving on when another boy band formed. Not this girl. She continues on her obsessive journey; including becoming the classiest version of a hooker history has to offer, to find this guy. That is a struggle. Not running down through an airport at the last minute. Despite the love story, and the fact that it revolves around a man, there’s a bit of female empowerment there. This girl became the most famous Geisha in Japan, and could have had any guy she wanted, but would only settle for the man she truly loved. She could have been a typist or an accountant or something to get to this guy, (or, you know, even sat outside his house with the earliest version of binoculars and gone all Fatal Attraction on him?) but no, she opted for classy, expensive hooker . . . Now, that’s true love! Move over, Julia Roberts!

Pinkie & Rose (Brighton Rock)

In a British mob-esque film, a helpless waitress is in the middle of a gangster’s mishap, that includes beating a man to death on Brighton’s “beautiful” (debatable) beaches. When Rose is used as a distraction for the panicked victim to get away, Pinkie Brown is then ordered to get close to her to keep her from talking, one way or another. With plenty of chances to “finish the job”, Pinkie gets increasingly frustrated as to why he hasn’t, while Rose is all the more convinced he truly loves her. But when everything she does becomes infuriating, how can you tell? Basically this is the dilemma of Wuthering Heights; loving someone you hate. And vice versa. While Pinkie is trailing Rose, she asks him to make her a message on an LP. With her out of the way, he spills an explosion of hateful feelings, but when she finally listens to it after his death, the disc skips and repeatedly plays “I love you”. My favourite moment was on the edge of a cliff. When Pinkie threatens to throw Rose off, he asks “Scared?” to which she replies, “Not when I’m with you”. You really start questioning yourself when you coo at a moment like that. If Rose can fall in love with a guy trying to kill her (flipping the damsel-in-distress cliché, by the way) I think you can talk to that cutie on the train.

Scrat & His Acorn (Ice Age)

There is no deeper love documented than this love between this mythical, obsessive, squirrel-rat hybrid, and his acorn. Who can blame them with the things that they have had to overcome?! They have survived melting ice caps, dinosaurs, pirates, and even a flying Scrat with batting eyes trying to come between them. And yet, they stay true to each other. Scrat proves that there are options beyond the opposite sex. If you can’t find love in a person, find it in food. I think it’s time to order that pizza for two for one . . .

By now, you’ll be feeling a lot less single and pathetic (I hope), and a lot more optimistic and romance-tolerant; love is possible, not matter how unorthodox or unexpected it finds you. Even being fire-proof, untouchable or the target of a “hit” isn’t enough to see you eternally single.

Happy Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

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