photos by  Rachel Whang

If you live and Baltimore and crave dim sum, you have almost no option other than ZhongShan and need to take that ass and head to D.C. if you want choices. So when I heard that local natural small batch spice and specialty foods purveyor Mick Kipp aka Mick The Pirate of Whiskey Island had organized a Chinese dim sum brunch at Mill Valley, I was all over that shit like a junkie who heard there was a cheaper dealer two corners up from the crib.  And yes, I am a self-admitted Asian food junkie.  Trust.

Mick had commandeered renowned and published Erotic author Hanne Blank to share her exceptional dumpling and bao making abilities with those of us who are barely worthy.  If you don’t know about Ms. Blank, you betta ask somebody.  She is an established writer and historian with six critically acclaimed books running the gamut from transgender erotica, to the cultural history of virginity, to sex instruction for the obese, as well as short fiction and essays for numerous major periodicals.  So to add even more bad-assness to her resume, her cooking is surrrrious. 

The menu featured a selection of five dumplings.  Of course, I ordered the monstrous sampler of all five… I’m no dumbass.  My first bite was The Whiskey Island Pirate Bao which was a steamed bun filled with bacon, smoked pressed tofu, garlic, chives, hot Tientsin chili peppers, and sweet dried chiles served with a fiery toban jian dipping sauce.  The Buddha’s Bao was a vegan dumpling which featured shredded seitan, shitake and bamboo shoot and a finger lickin’ Cantonese style BBQ sauce for those of you crazy people who have left the dark side of eating meat.  My compliments to the chef on this one, because this carnivore is not a fan of fake meat, and I thought I was eating real pork BBQ until I was told otherwise.  There was open top Siumai stuffed with ground pork and shrimp finished with a drizzle of ginger-scallion oil.  And again they came correct with the fake out fabulousness, Su Ya, which were pan-fried crispy tofu skins filled with seasonal vegetables, black mushrooms, and tofu stir-fried with a tangerine-spiked soy sauce.  They tasted like paper thin fried duck skins stuffed with roast duck and veggies.  At first I was hesitant, and tried to resist enjoying the vegetarian/vegan options, but damn you, Whiskey Island, that shit was scrumptious!  And last, but not least was my favorite, the Jiaozi… thick, chewy pan fried pot stickers with a pork, water chestnut and salted cabbage filling served with a Chinkiang vinegar dipping sauce. Holy shit, can you say dim sum coma?!

This feisty foodie couldn’t have asked for a better brunch.  All these delectables were served up with a side of warm, friendly service from Mick, and a visit to our table from the talented Hanne Blank sporting a killer Our Lady of Guadalupe apron that I wanted to snatch.  The dumpling brunch was originally advertised as the “1^st Annual”, but after selling out its reservations and receiving rave on-the-spot reviews from diners, I hear Ms. Blank has been talked into showering us with her exemplary dumpling prowess several times per year.  So if you missed out on this first round, when you hear about Round 2, don’t sleep! 

Now go make your own! 

Our new food writer, Heather Hulsey is a domestic chef, baker and SERIOUS epicurean! Check in weekly for her musings on food. Follow Heather on Twitter @bmorehousehoney