Twitter is a great and powerful thing. A week ago we started following @SexInBmore and fell immediately in love with her. So much so, we asked SIB to be our new sex columnist. And she happily agreed!
SIB will be posting musings, advice and her thoughts here on a weekly basis.
Be warned, this IS a sex column and although there won’t be any steamy visuals (it’s not porn, ya know?) the text WILL be NSFW.

Doms and Subs, meet Bmore’s newest sex columnist, SIB:

Hello ladies and gentleman of Charm City! I have been keeping a blog of my latest
sexual journey for about five months now when Gutter magazine stumbled upon
my writing and approached me to write a sex column. I was hesitant at first as I have
a professional job and quite a vanilla life, however, sexually, I have been in the closet
exploring the Dominant/submissive lifestyle. After being assured anonymity, I excitedly
agreed. I hope this column will be a place to share my experiences (both D/s and just as
a single girl experiencing sex in our fair city), answer your questions, and we can all just
have some fun. That is what sex should be all about at the core of the issue anyway.

As an introduction, I’ve had some “friends” ask me some questions. Here are some of my latest favorites:

What’s the first thing that you usually notice about someone you meet?

The first thing I usually notice about anyone is their eyes. I think eyes can tell a lot about a person; their intentions, their level of honesty, the willingness to be open, etc. A good smile also helps win me over, but I definitely love looking people right in the eye. If someone can’t look at me when they communicate, it tells me volumes about where I stand.

I have been reading your blog for a while and I do not know what type of
Dominant you want. Why don’t you tell everybody what you want your Dom to be.

As for what I look for in a Dominant, I have been thinking a lot more about this since I started. I want a Daddy who respects me as a person and who I can feel safe enough with so that I can commit myself to him unconditionally. The relationship wouldn’t entirely be one where he always orders me to obey him, but instead a relationship where sometimes his orders aren’t even needed. That I am totally immersed in giving him pleasure and I want to serve him so that he too feels safe in revealing his deeper and darker emotions and desires. He would be someone with whom this would not be a 24/7 D/s thing, but more of a sexual exchange, however, I would like a relationship as well. He would ideally be professional, attractive, mid-30s to mid-40s, compassionate, intelligent, and a true leader. Although objectification does sometimes come into play through the D/s dynamic, he would see me as a person – not a thing; a person who is willingly opening herself up physically and emotionally to attend to his wants and needs.

What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

The first thing? Probably “Just a few more minutes! That dream was getting so hot!”

What are the most erotic words a lover has said to you?

Truthfully, when a man tells me I am a “Good Girl.” It gives me such a sense of erotic arousal now that it has been associated with so many amazing sexual things. It invokes a natural desire in me to continue to please him over and over again. Also, the first time Daddy J (my first and so far only Dom) bound my wrists and ankles, placed my collar and my leash on me, and placed a ball gag in my mouth, he stood back and smiled the best smile I think I have ever seen on him. He simply said, “You look so beautiful there – bound the way you should be just waiting for me.” I wanted to jump him, but of course, I had to wait until he jumped me (which wasn’t long).

If you could erase a single thing from your memory bank, what would it be?

I am not sure that I would. Everything we experience, even bad things, shape who we are. And, if I didn’t remember or the bad thing that happened, I would fear I might actually repeat it. At least if I remember the bad along with the good, as long as I have learned from everything, I think it is best to experience it all, and then some!

Once a sub/slave has experienced D/s, do you think she could go back to a
vanilla lifestyle, or will something always be missing?

A great question, but not one I feel I have enough experience with to answer as well as I would like. I am fairly new to discovering this submissive side to myself. I am enjoying every minute of it and definitely enjoy exploring and pushing limits I never knew I could. It is also intense on me emotionally, but it makes everything that much more satisfying. My lifestyle is pretty vanilla, but do I really think I could go back to a more vanilla sex life? I think if I had to, maybe? But I also believe that this is truly who I was meant to be and even in a more vanilla sex life, parts would just seep through. I know I would miss the erotic nature of it all if I wasn’t engaging in a D/s sexual relationship.

I’ll be back next week, but feel free to ask away: and follow me on Twitter.