SIB will be posting musings, advice, and her thoughts here on a weekly basis. Be warned, this IS a sex column and although there won’t be any steamy visuals (it’s not porn, ya know?) the text WILL be NSFW.


Thank you to everyone who has welcomed me to this magazine (and also joined in reading my blog) over the past couple weeks. Many of you have either emailed or messaged me some comments and questions that I think would make a great discussion. Just remember to leave comments here on this page as well – don’t be shy!

Are you a real person? Are you really a female? Are you as hot as you seem?

Although we have advanced in computers, I am indeed a real person with thoughts and feelings writing this column. I also am indeed a true, attractive female. I know it can be hard to believe for many people that a woman would be this open about sex – society usually tells us that it just isn’t lady like. However, a couple of things make it easier for me to be so open here. First of all, I am staying “anonymous” – only a couple of people who know me personally know that I am also writing this column and my blog. As a matter of fact, you could probably ask one of my very closest girlfriends about me and my sexual outlook and she would have no idea about any of this. As for am I as hot as I seem, I take that as a very good compliment, so thank you. I like to think I am sexy and good at what I do, but I also am not full of myself. I prefer to let the people I am with decide for themselves what they think of me.

Why are you still in the closet about being a submissive? You should embrace your sexuality and get out more into the fetish community.

The main reason for me staying “in the closet” is I have a very good job in a corporate professional career and being open sexually would jeopardize that. I am all for kink and sex, but it doesn’t pay my mortgage. I am not ashamed of what I like or who I am. I used to question it a lot more, but I have learned a lot more about my inner self through my submissive journey, and I hope to continue that if I find another Dom soon. And, honestly? I am pretty shy until I get to know people very well. It takes a lot for me to trust people sometimes and this is one secret I actually enjoy keeping to myself for now.

I love to watch my girlfriend masturbate, but she is really self-conscious and won’t do it in front of me after she did it just the once. I am not saying she has to do it all the time, but how can I convince her that she shouldn’t be embarrassed and get her to do it again?

This is tough, but something I know a little bit about myself. A while ago, I used to play sexually with a neighbor of mine, MP. Many times that I would go over there, he would love to ask me to just play with myself in front of him. He would play with himself and just sit back and enjoy watching me. I always felt like I must look so silly, but something about how we were together was so magnetic. I would get so into playing with myself, I would not think about the fact that I was being watched – I would just go for it. Once I did that, he seemed to get more and more into it. That is when I realized – it isn’t about me and what I wanted at that time. It was about pleasing him and getting him excited. And if that is what he liked, why should I not provide it for him? The act itself of being watched didn’t get me excited, but the fact that someone was watching me, getting turned on by me and something I was doing definitely got me all worked up. Because I am shy, I usually think of myself as a character – that it isn’t really “me” who is performing, it is the sexual me. This helps me to calm my mind and not be so self-conscious and it may help her to be more at ease as well. So, to address how to convince your girlfriend to touch herself in front of you again, let her know what exactly what it is that turns you on about it. Give her encouragement and compliment her on her techniques. Make her feel as comfortable as possible. Tell her to concentrate on her pleasure and act like you aren’t watching. Hopefully, she will understand how much you like it and give in to her self-love. Good Luck!


I’ll be back next week, but feel free to ask away – I love answering questions and hearing your suggestions: and follow me on my blog , Tumblr, and Twitter.

Last Week: Ladies, Your Oral Exam Is Here