SIB will be posting musings, advice, and her thoughts here on a weekly basis. Be warned, this IS a sex column and although there won’t be any steamy visuals (it’s not porn, ya know?) the text WILL be NSFW.

To modify a common turn of phrase, “Yes Maryland, there is Sex in Baltimore.” Well, that is what I hear; Not that I am getting any lately, but that is for another time, my dear readers.  I know I haven’t been gone THAT long, but it has been a while. I have heard from many of you asking if I was ill, if I was off on some exotic vacation, and even if I was ever coming back. The truth is rather boring I am afraid – “real life and real work” got in the way. Thank you for all the well-wishes because they did keep me going for some time there. I am happy to say I am back, and I hope you are happy, too. If you were one of the people who were hoping I had gone away for good, sorry to report that I am not that easy to get rid of.

Enough babbling and let’s get to it, shall we? This week, we explore the thrilling experiences of sexual role playing. This type of sexual play is often very freeing for partners as you get to create a character, step outside of your comfort zone, and explore one of the most highly sexual organs we possess – our minds. Most of the time, sex just happens without any forethought or planning. We get down to the dirty when we are aroused and we make the most of the moment. With role playing, it is important to discuss and communicate with one another beforehand to set the scene, make plans, and discover each other’s boundaries and desires. It forces us to take our time and really enjoy the arousal and pleasure.

If you’ve never engaged in this type of activity before, it might sound silly and feel uncomfortable at first. But you don’t have to go running forward, head-first into it. There are many different levels of role playing. You may start off with just changing your frame of mind, thinking of a character, and using talk to play out the scenario. Next time, you may up the ante a bit and add costumes and a pre-determined storyline to start the evening. Halloween just doesn’t have to be in October; the naughty French maid can come clean the house of the rich, sexually frustrated man anytime. Ever notice how people’s inhibitions are lowered when they are wearing masks at masquerade parties? That wild nature can take place even if there isn’t a fancy charity benefit to attend.

It’s perfectly healthy and normal to want to explore sexual fantasies, and you should feel comfortable opening up to your partner about what turns you on. Remember to be respectful and keep an open mind when your lover wants to discuss his/her sexual ideals and begins to confide in you with role playing ideas. Your mate may surprise you with what he/she reveals, so it is important to mentally be prepared to be understanding. It is also okay to say “no” if you don’t share the fantasy, but be sure to do so in a compassionate way. If this is the case, maybe suggest an alternative that may be similar, but something that you would be more comfortable with.

Unfortunately, sexual role playing isn’t something you can learn from an instruction manual or even a witty columnist; it is something that has to be experienced. There are plenty of ideas out there to read about, but only you and your partner know what will ignite the horny toad that is below your surface. Some common fantasies that people have are:

  • Teacher/Student
  • Service Worker/Lonely Housewife/Househusband
  • Artist/Model
  • Escort/Client
  • Doctor or Nurse/Patient
  • Boss/Secretary
  • Kidnapper/Hostage

The possibilities are endless and only limited by your own imagination. Remember that role playing is not simply about pretending to be someone you aren’t; it helps both of you confide in one another sexual desires and inclinations that you may otherwise not admit. You both may be playing characters, but the game can also safely reveal parts of yourself without worrying about rejection or hurt feelings. By shedding your inhibitions, enjoying the game, and sharing the excitement, sexual role playing can take you to higher planes of sexual ecstasy. Once you give in to this kinky play, you and your lover will begin to feel more comfortable with it and with each other. After a while, you both may grow new ideas for even more adventures to explore with one another.

Make me proud and enjoy all the sex in Baltimore!

I’ll be back next week, but feel free to ask away – I love answering questions and hearing your suggestions: and follow me on my blog, Tumblr, and Twitter.