Sick of “Silent Night”? Jaded with “Jingle Bells”?

Christmas carols are brimming with good cheer, festive fun, mistletoe and more than a little wine, but clearly, this isn’t for everyone.

Thankfully, there’s an alternative . . . or two. Allow us to present “An Alternative Christmas” . . .

All I Want For Christmas Is You My Chemical Romance

Gerard Way & Co may have called it quits earlier this year (much to our disappointment) but not before the put their own unique, tinsel-tint on Mariah Carey’s 1994 Christmas classic. Expect a lot less diva-esque notes and a lot more thrashing drums and screeching guitars at a Kerrang! friendly volume. A goth-tinged take on a cheesy Crimbo classic!

Don’t Shoot Me Santa The Killers

This 2007 charity single from Las Vegas’ finest puts a whole new spin on being naughty at Christmas! Santa may be making a list and checking it twice but according to The Killers, naughty kids have a lot more to worry about than a lump of coal; a vengeful Santa seeks revenge against a mischievous Brandon Flowers making for an interesting video. Perhaps living so close to Area 51 is messing with Brandon’s head . . .

Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight) The Ramones¬†

Christmas is a time of goodwill to all men, but how many families get through the festive season without an argument or three? The Ramones captured the reality of family life at Christmas in 1989 with, “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)”; the perfect seasonsal soundtrack for that squabble over the last Ferrero Rocher.

Fairytale Of New York The Pogues (Featuring Kirsty McColl)

This Crimbo collaboration is more of a duel than a duet; it may have become somewhat of a well-known and loved Christmas classic but the lyrics alone will keep it forever alternative, “Happy Christmas my arse, I pray God it’s our last”. A controversial but candid Christmas ballad without a hint of tinsel, mistletoe or Christmas cracker but where it is perfectly acceptable to call the woman in your life, “an old slut on junk”.

Fuck Christmas Eric Idle 

Christmas can be a stressful, demanding period for most and no-one captured it better than comic actor, Eric Idle with his yuletide ditty, “Fuck Christmas”. No-one is safe with Santa, Holly, Ivy and even Disney all coming under fire making it the perfect anthem for Grumpy Scrooge’s everywhere . . . although we have probably all agreed with the lyrics while cursing the Christmas queues.

Whether you like your Christmas soundtrack with mistletoe and snowflakes or profanity and gallons of wine, there IS a Crimbo classic for all tastes this festive season.