Those of you familiar with our team here at Gutter HQ will know we do things a little differently, so if you’re looking for hearts and flowers this Valentine’s Day, you’ve most definitely come to the wrong website.

We are a little less “I Love You” and a little more “It’s Not Me, It’s You!” and we would like to wish you all, single and tied down alike, a very Happy Valentine’s Day with our Love, Alternatively playlist . . .

“Community Property” by Steel Panther. It’s a beautiful love song about a mans love for the woman he’s been with for over two weeks. All she has to realize is that when he is on the road touring with his band,  his cock becomes community property and she has to let a man’s penis run wild and free . . .  Dean Walsh

Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m Going Down” can be found on The Boss’ “Born in the USA” album and it tells a beautifully, familiar tale. Ever one to turn the ‘real’ into a timeless song, Springsteen tackles a relationship at a crossroads, potentially on its way out. He perfectly describes the good times “I remember back when we started, my kisses used to turn you inside out” and pits it against the current state of the relationship “you used to love to drive me wild, but lately girl you get your kicks from just a-dragging me down”  Kimberley Manderson

Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” is an alternative love song in almost every respect. It has, realistically, only a chorus that is truly audible, leaving the rest of the lyrics washed in mystery as love itself truly also is. The video is like nothing anyone has made before nor will anyone likely ever again, as is Ian Curtis’ guitar/voice. The sensation of love is a purely original feeling which cannot be replicated. The lyric “Love Will Tear Us Apart” coupled with the incredible vocal melody is also unmistakable, but by the same token extremely brash and crushing as love itself can be. The song personifies love in almost every way possible  Jaq Inglis

The Maccabees “First Love” The track starts with the lyrics “First love, last love, only love, it’s only love”, seeming to be a rather throwaway comment about love. The track proceeds to talk about the ups and downs of relationships but ultimately ends up being something of an out and out love song before the ending. An alternative love song that goes full circle from dismissing love at the start that ends on the same lyrics “it’s only love.”  Tess Askew

The Smiths “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” is a song I initially hated but later grew to appreciate and ultimately love; not an unknown pattern to modern relationships. I have often heard it described as maudlin or miserable (Hello? It’s the Smiths!) and rightly so with lyrics, “And, if a double decker bus, crashes into us” or “I never, never want to go home, because I haven’t got one anymore”. However, I came to find hope among the heartache with this song; true, a track pledging you’d be willing to die at the hands of a double decker smash simply to be with someone else forever is an unconventional love song at best, but The Smith’s heavy heart was in the right place with this song, painting a surprisingly pretty (albeit gloomy) picture of how much one person is willing to risk to be with their special someone  Siobhanne Beattie